My heart froze.
My lungs shrunk.
Knowing about it hadn’t prepared me. Hearing about it hadn’t prepared me, but seeing it was the worst way for it to become real.
Mason was sitting on the back of a truck. It had been pulled so it was hidden behind the others, but it wasn’t the sight of him that had a dagger slicing through my insides. Kate was straddling him. Her br**sts were pushed against his chest, and she had both arms around him. She grabbed a fistful of his hair as she gyrated on top of him, rubbing against him. A smirk came over him as he took hold of the back of her neck and tilted her head to the side. Then his mouth opened over hers, demanding entrance, and she shuddered in his arms.
She shuddered for him and so did I, but for different reasons.
Logan pulled me backwards. “Come on, Sam.” His tone softened, and he led me away. He was trying to be gentle with me, all the way to his car and as he took me home, but it didn’t matter.
I was numb again.
My house was cold when I went inside. Logan flipped the lights on, but I shook my head. I didn’t want them on. He didn’t see me and went to the counter. A note was there and he lifted it to read, “Samantha, I am at Malinda’s. Please call me when you get in and I will come home. Love, David.” He lowered it, a slight sneer on his face. “Gee. That’s sweet of him.”
He put the note back. “Sorry.”
Images of them flashed in my mind. Mason on the truck. Kate on him. His mouth on hers. Her hand twisting in his hair. They kept coming and I couldn’t stop them. If I closed my eyes, they were worse. I was there again. When he tilted her head to the side and opened his mouth, I flinched. My eyelids flew up, but it didn’t matter. They were still there.
They were all I could see.
Feeling something cold being pushed into my hand, I looked down. Logan was holding a glass to me. He held the bottle up in his other hand. “I found your dad’s secret stash. He’s got good taste.”
“What is this?”
“Does it matter?”
I drank it. It was like water, and I held my glass up again. “More.” I needed more than more. Tonight I wanted to get drunk. All the pain needed to stop. I wanted to go back to being numb. Life was so much easier then.
We didn’t talk. Logan took my glass from my hand and went into the living room. When he went to turn the light on, I cried out, “Don’t.” He heard me this time and let the dark remain. I sat on one couch, and he took a chair across from me. The large windows were behind him and moonlight shone inside; no curtains restricted it. It felt warming to me. I had no idea why, maybe if the lights were on then I’d have to face reality. If the lights remained off, I could still hide.
If that was the case, I never wanted to turn the lights on again. I wanted to hide from this. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t, so I asked for another drink. That’d be my escape for the night.
It wasn’t until my fourth drink that I began to feel the alcohol. I drew in a shuddering breath. It needed to work faster. I thrust my glass out and leaned forward. “Again.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, but he filled it. Leaning back, he tipped the bottle and drank straight from it. His glass was left forgotten on the table beside him. As he finished and tucked the bottle into the seat beside him, he asked, “You want to talk about it?”
“No.” Yes, but not with him. I sighed and gave in. “Did he f**k her?”
“Not that I know.”
“What do you know?”
“That he did it all to protect you.”
I shook my head. That wasn’t good enough. He was with her and not me—he was kissing her, touching her, tasting her—my stomach rolled over, and pain flooded back in. I couldn’t get the images out of my head.
“Sam.” Logan leaned forward. Resting his arms on his legs, he dipped his head down and waited.
I shook my head again.
He didn’t look away.
I waved my hand at him instead.
Still nothing. He gave me a faint grin. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You did,” I choked out. “You both did. You left me.”
“That was for you—”
“It wasn’t.” It so wasn’t. They did that for them. “You could’ve texted me or called. You ignored my calls.” I was left out of the loop. Didn’t they get that? No, Mason wasn’t there. Didn’t Logan get it? There was complete silence from them and no warning that it was going to happen.
My chest constricted. It was like before. David dropped me. So did Garrett. I had them or I thought I had them and then nothing after that. I drew in a painful breath. I couldn’t go through that again, and I thought I had. Mason still wasn’t here. He was still with her.
So much damn pain and Logan had no clue how it felt.
“You’re lucky, do you know that?”
He frowned, but leaned back in his chair again. The bottle was lifted for another drink. His eyes were lidded, but I knew he was going to let me talk.
“Your parents would do anything for you.”
My eyes jerked to his. “What’s that mean? Your parents would. Your mother moved back here for you guys.”
“Yeah and she did that because my dad’s choosing his new psycho over his sons.” He stared right back at me, without pausing or breaking stride. His tone was cool. “And my dad doesn’t love your mom. You have to know that, don’t you? She’s his pet project. It’s like he’s trying to make up for all his past f**k-ups by fixing her. It’s pathetic. No, Sam. We’re not that lucky. We’ve got a messed-up parents just like you.”