He was more painfully handsome than I’d remembered. Sevin hadn’t noticed me yet as I stood in the doorway taking in the sight of him while he sat there amongst the crowd.
I shouldn’t be here.
There was no place for me in Dodge City anymore. But the one thing that I knew would force me back happened. Now, there was no choice but to face him. His gaze moved to the floor as he twiddled his large thumbs, and that bought me more time to look at him.
Someone called my name, and just like that, his head full of shiny black hair lifted to meet my frightened expression.
No warmth shone through his gorgeous face.
His eyes instead met mine with an almost vicious-looking stare.
The adrenaline running through me only solidified what I always knew; that even after all this time, my feelings for him hadn’t wavered. Despite the fact that he hated me, I was still staring into the eyes of the only man I’d ever loved.
My sister’s husband.
Her warm breath tickled my ear. “Sevin, I’m gonna need a strong set of hands to set up the hall for the after-service breakfast.”
That was code for something else. My strong set of hands would be doing a lot more than just setting up tables and chairs, and we both knew it. But it amazed me that no one else seemed to know. She’d come around to the end of my pew at the same time every Sunday, about forty minutes before church ended. We’d leave together and yet, no one seemed to figure out what was really going on.
Sunlight streaming through the stained glass windows shined around her blonde updo. Candace curled her index finger for me to follow her into the building adjacent to the church.
As I walked behind her down the long hallway, the sound of the sermon faded away. My dick hardened at the sight of her ass wiggling through her long conservative pencil skirt. I was most definitely going straight to hell.
If these people only knew.
Upon entering the hall, the smell of coffee percolating hit me. We passed the table of baked goods that were already set up. The utility closet door creaked as she opened it, and my cock twitched in anticipation.
I pressed my body against her chest in the dark, enclosed space as the door clicked shut.
Candace pulled a string above us, turning on a small overhead light. She smiled and wasted no time unbuttoning my shirt.
“Hey, what do you think you’re doing? I’m all dressed in my Sunday best, and you’re messing it up,” I teased as I removed the pin holding up her hair and watched the tresses unravel down into a sexy mess.
“Naked is your Sunday best, baby. The light is gonna stay on this time. I need to see your body, Sevin. I’ve been waiting all week for this. God, I missed you. Seven days is too long.” She pulled my shirt off of my arms and threw it on the ground. “You’re so beautiful, baby,” she whispered. “So beautiful.”
I closed my eyes as she kissed down my chest. “Feels good,” I muttered.
She spoke over my skin, “I hate the way they look at you. All those teenage girls in church. They all want you, Sevin. And I’m the only one that gets to have you like this, the only one who gets to see what lies beneath those clothes, the only one who gets to see this body that looks cut from stone…made for sin. I am the only one, right?”
“Yeah. Of course you are,” I lied. Some of those girls had seen me.
As she undid my pants and took my engorged cock out, a familiar feeling of guilt started to creep in, but it passed in a fleeting moment.
She lifted off her shirt and took a condom out of her black lace bra before ripping the package open with her teeth. Candace looked up into my eyes as she slid the ribbed rubber onto me carefully. She looked at me like she owned me. It made me uncomfortable but not enough to stop.
“Turn around,” I said so that I didn’t have to see her face.
She placed her hands against the closet wall as her skirt fell to the ground.
Faint organ music in the distance was the only sound until the loud gasp she released as I buried myself inside of her.
“Shhh,” I warned.
What was she fucking crazy, letting out a noise like that? I couldn’t imagine the repercussions if someone found us in here.
With each thrust, though, I was reminded of why I kept coming back for more with Candace. In the small time we were in here, I could close my eyes and pretend that she was someone else, someone that meant something. I liked pretending that I was wanted, that I was loved by someone important. In reality, she was using me just as much as I was using her. But for someone who grew up without any kind of affection, sex was the closest thing I had to love, the closest thing to a connection with another human being. Unlike real love, which usually ended in pain, no one had to get hurt in this situation. When we walked out of here, it was like it never happened.
The other reason I kept doing this: it was simply exhilarating. Doing something I knew was wrong was addicting. That was the problem with me. Acting badly always gave me a high even from a very young age. At twenty, you’d think I would have had the highest morals given my sheltered upbringing. But with me, it all backfired.
Growing up, I was the kid who collected the money in church only to take a handful for myself out of the donation basket to go buy cigarettes. I was the boy who would go back to my room after a Bible lesson about lust only to jerk off to the Playboy magazine hidden under my bed. I guess I’ve always been a sinner by nature. But these encounters with Candace were definitely a new low.