“Let me help you with that.” Sevin pulled the coat from my grasp and opened it up for me. His palms lingered on my shoulders, igniting a warm current of energy down my spine.
I turned around to meet his eyes, his face too close for comfort.
“Let’s get going then,” he said as he stared into me.
It was dark outside, and the earlier rain had turned into a drizzle. Sevin opened the passenger side door to his truck and waited until I was seated before shutting it.
His smell saturated the inside. It was enough to make me drunk off of him. His eyes darted to the side, and he looked at me briefly before starting the car.
Neither of us was saying anything as he kept driving fast down the long dark road in the opposite direction from our ranch.
I was looking out the window which was covered in raindrops when his warm hand landed on mine, prompting me to look at him. The intensity in his eyes made my heart beat faster.
After several minutes of driving in silence, he pulled over into a desolate open field. My stomach dropped. Sevin turned off the ignition and leaned his head back before looking over at me.
“If you’re leaving, so am I.”
Panic set in. “No.”
“You were just gonna leave without saying goodbye, leave me with a fucking ‘dear John’ letter?”
“You know why I couldn’t see you.”
His face was turning red. “Because you’re weak? Because you can’t trust yourself not to let me fuck you?”
“No,” I lied.
“Yes. You’re weak. So am I. So fucking weak.” Gently brushing the side of my cheek, he said, “Let go, Evangeline. Let…the fuck…go.” Sevin wrapped his hand gently around my neck as he rubbed over my throat with his thumb. “I promise it will feel so good to let go.”
My breathing was ragged. I tried to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out. All I wanted was for him to keep touching me. It was all I could think about.
His mouth curved into a wry smile. “Look how you react to me. Just a simple touch. You think we can stop this? Neither one of us can resist each other.”
No. We can’t.
Unleashing an unintelligible sound, I closed my eyes as his calloused thumb continued to stroke my neck. The simple movement was causing my entire body to buzz with arousal.
He lightly squeezed my neck. “If you’re gonna say goodbye to me, say it when I’m touching you,” he said gruffly. “Say it to my face. You can’t. You can’t even fucking speak. I love this, how you react to me. I’m so fucking hard right now.”
Tears began to fall down my cheeks. He was right. I couldn’t say goodbye to his face, and it was impossible to resist him. I was afraid to even look at him.
Still, I made one last attempt to run from the powerful feelings that had overtaken me. Opening the door, I slammed it behind me.
Struggling to breathe, I sucked in the misty air. Walking to the back of the truck, I crossed my arms over my chest. Light rain was starting to fall again. It was pitch dark except for the illumination of the moon and the light from his pickup. Sevin’s door slammed shut.
I couldn’t let this happen.
I couldn’t let this happen.
I couldn’t let this happen.
As I closed my eyes, I felt him pull me into his arms. I knew in that moment that I’d lost the race. I was done. I was his. People were going to get hurt.
“We’ll figure it out,” he whispered over my face as if he could read the racing thoughts in my head. He touched his forehead to mine. “Together. As long as we have each other, we’ll figure out how to deal with this.”
When I opened my eyes, they were met with his intense stare. I could feel his love for me pouring out of those eyes, his body and his soul. I wanted nothing more than to spend my life loving this beautiful broken boy, to prove to him that the way he came into the world wasn’t in vain. Sometimes, words weren’t necessary. Sometimes, all it took was a certain look. He must have seen that same look in my eyes, the look that told him my body was all in. I was giving in.
He released a breath that sounded like he’d been holding it in forever before pulling me in tighter. Allowing myself to release the pent up tension, my body relaxed into him. He kissed my head while he traced his fingers along my back. I could feel his erection against my stomach. I’d never felt a man hard before. It stunned me how big and warm it felt against me. Wetness and weakness developed between my legs.
Sevin pulled back and held my face in his hands. “I have so much love inside of me that’s all yours, and it’s been trapped inside. I need to give it to you, because holding it in is killing me. I know your heart belongs to me. But I’m selfish. I want all of you. I want your body before you run away from me again. Because I promise you, once we’re connected, you’re gonna know that we were meant for each other. Unless you tell me not to, I’m gonna take you. Right here. Right now, Evangeline.”
His words alone made my body quiver.
I’m gonna take you.
Trying to bury my guilt in him, I drew his body into me.
Bending my head back, I closed my eyes and silently willed him to do what he pleased. I’d dreamt for so long about what it would feel like to fully surrender to him.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“I’ll show you everything. I’ll tell you what to do.”
He started to kiss my neck, and with each movement of his mouth, the pressure was progressively harder. He started sucking on the base of my neck and on my chest to the point of pain. My back was pressed against the cold metal of the truck. I often wondered what Sevin would be like sexually. He had experience, and I had none. It didn’t take long for me to realize that there was nothing gentle about him. But it didn’t scare me; I wanted more.